கவிதை கொத்து

#1:

பனித்துளியின் ஈரம் நீ,

அதை விரட்டும் விடியலின் வெப்பமும் நீயே.. 

இப்படி முரணாக நிற்கும் உன்னை,

முழுதாக நேசிக்க ஆசை...

#2:

உனக்கு கவிதை பிடிக்கும் என அறிவேன்.

கவிதைக்கும் உன்னை பிடித்திருக்கிறது போலும். 

என் கற்பனை கதவை உடைக்கிறாள் ... உன்னை சந்திப்பதற்காக !

#3: உன் ஞாபகங்கள்

என் இதய துடிப்புகள் நடுவில் வசிக்கும் ... உன் ஞாபகங்கள். 

இரவில் தூக்கம் என்னை தழுவும் தருணத்தில்....உன் ஞாபகங்கள்.

எனக்கு பிடித்த பாடல்களை முணுமுணுக்கும் பொழுது ... உன் ஞாபகங்கள்.

 மழைக்கு முன் வீசும் மண் வாசனை போல், என் மனதை வருடும் .... உன் ஞாபகங்கள்.

இப்படி உன் ஞாபகங்களை மட்டுமே சுவாசிக்கும் என்னை பார்த்து... உன்னை மறுத்துவிட்டேன் என்றாயே!! 

எப்படி ????

#4: 

நீ எழுத சொன்னதால் நான் கவிஞன் ஆவேனோ ? 

நீ என்னை ரசிப்பதால் நன் கலைஞன் ஆவேனோ ? 

என் ஆண்மையை நீ மதிப்பதால் நான் வீரன் ஆவேனோ ?

உன் மீது கொண்ட ஆசையால் நான் மிருகம் ஆவேனோ ? 

என் மீது கொண்ட உன் பாசத்தால் நான் குழந்தை ஆவேனோ ? 

உன் சிந்தனையில் வாழ்வதால் நான் பித்தன் ஆவேனோ ?

குழந்தை கையில் சிக்கிய களிமண் போல... 

நான் என்ன ஆவேனோ ? 

நீயே சொல்.. 

பெண்ணே !

Crisis Management : My perspective

Today, in software industry, we hear surreal stories about heroes saving projects from failure, with their single-mindedness and with very little regard to their personal lives.

Such stories are really motivating for others and in general used as benchmark for great performances. Everyone around those projects would want to bask in this glory by happily inflating their part in this success.

In that collective euphoria, we don't introspect to see why we ended up facing the crisis in the first place. Somehow, the act of introspection of such a project is considered disrespectful to those who pulled off such a stupendous feat.

For as long as i can remember, I have held similar opinion.
But, I don't believe that to be true anymore and these hero stories really merit closer scrutiny.

These exalted heroes could have been the architect of the very crisis they rescued the projects from; through their part in poor planning and shoddy execution.

Don't get me wrong. I don't intend to be sarcastic or belittle superhuman effort that went to recover the project. I am merely lamenting the absence of an honest reflection with an intent of never getting into another crisis.

The habit of successfully getting out of one crisis after another and the adulation that follows the crisis recovery threatens to get ingrained into organizational psyche. Longer we feed this monster, faster it would drain the organization's resources & resolve.

For a while , I have wondered why well executed projects are not celebrated in an organization.
On the contrary, if a project is completed on time without issues, it is popular belief that the project must certainly not have been complex enough.

We owe this attitude to a common psychological bias, where we are tuned towards negativity mainly because a bad event is sudden and impactful.
A good event/behavior is incremental, built over time and more preventive in nature ("prevents bad event from occurring").

This means projects in crisis markets itself,  while project executed on-plan should be consciously marketed to bring it to the management's attention.

Let me drive this point further with a simple analogy.

There were three brilliant physicians. The first one was a surgeon who saved lives of people in critical conditions through invasive methods. People thronged his hospital, everyone in the country knew him and he was wealthy.

The second physician looked at the early symptoms and prescribes medicines that would cure their ailments. He was also well known and respected, but only in his village.

Third physician would advise on practices to follow in order to lead a life of absolute health. Neither anyone listens to him nor respects him.

In today's world, there is strong and increasing need for "Third physician".

It is no longer enough to execute a project well but we should also aggressively promote it.

It is our responsibility to show that disciplined execution of projects will be rewarded by the organization.

To show that one can be successful in both work and life and not necessarily have to choose one over the other.

Tuesday morning conversation with my son

                                       

Jeffrey and I have started engaging in conversations that I find very rewarding.
He asks questions and I try to answer them to the best of my ability and that is the equation in our conversations.

I have come to the realization that it is lot easier to face questions from an adult.
My 5 year old has fundamental questions  that I have taken for granted. Maybe I had the same questions when I was a kid.

When did we stop being curious? Curious about everything ! Anything ???

Sometimes i think humans regress as a race when we grow up. We are better off as kids.

The pace at which the kids learn new topics is mind-blowing.

Jeffrey has immersed himself into the world of super-heroes and my youngest brother is his mentor on the subject. It is a sight to behold to see both of them talk on that subject.

His sense of morality is distilled from the world of super-heroes & not our religious text.
I personally find the virtues of super-heroes more relatable than those i find in book of faith.

But to give him broader perspective, my wife bought him a book on bible stories. He liked those stories too.

Now I am wondering & waiting how he will process these two distinct worlds to make his own assertions.  He has started to do that already.

I am registering one such conversation i had with my son this morning, for posterity.😊

Normally, I spend time with him just before he goes to sleep. Nothing fancy, just boys stuff. 😊
Last night when i came back from office , Jeffrey was already asleep. I missed that precious time with my son.

When I woke up today and saw him, he was wide-eyed, ready & waiting to strike a conversation.
Without any small talk, he went straight in.

Jeffrey : "Ultron, can you fly underwater?"
Me      : "Yes, I can . I will rule the oceans"
Jeffrey : "Aquaman is the king of Ocean"
Jeffrey : "Ultron, why are you bad?"
Jeffrey : "Why don't you save grid ? He is trapped by Cyborg"

For the uninitiated, Ultron is the Super villain robot in Avengers [ Marvel Cinematic universe ] .
Grid is a similar super villain robot in DC universe where Cyborg is one of DC's super heroes.
And we do role plays by imitating super heroes & villains.

Lets stop here and continue with the conversation.

With my best imitation of Ultron's voice.. 

Me       : "Yes , I have plans to save Grid and together we will destroy humans."
Jeffrey : "Why do you want to destroy humans?"
Me       : "Because humans are bad. They destroy trees and use plastic."
Jeffrey : "God created humans. Everything god created is beautiful."
Me       : "Okay. Then I will rule all people on earth"
Jeffrey : "Jesus is the king of earth."
Me       : "Then, what should i do?"
Jeffrey : "Collect some money. Go and work in the fields"
Me       : "I am the most sophisticated machine that man has ever built and I am a super villian!.  You expect me to work in the fields?"
Jeffrey : "Yes" ( definitive answer)

When i thought we reached  logical end to our short conversation , after a long pause, he asked the toughest question of all.

Jeffrey : "When was god born?"

It didn't seem that tough to me..I got this ! I started right away..

Me       : "Jesus was born approximately 2000 years ago. We don't know the exact year or date though".

He gave me a weird look..

Jeffrey : "I said 'GOD' not 'JESUS'".

Now, it was my time to take a long pause. 

Me       : "GOD has always existed from the beginning of times"

By the look of him , I realized he was not impressed with my answer. Even i wasn't buying it. So....

Me       : "I don't know when God was born. We will find it out together."

I could see he was satisfied with this answer and like that, Jeffrey & I started this journey to find answers.

I don't really know if we will find answers but I am enjoying travelling this road with my son. 😊

The day I was smitten

I have read in literature about love at first sight, how a guy gets transfixed by a complete stranger when he lays his eyes on her. For those who follow Indian Cinema, I don't have to explain what happens next. A copy of him teleports along with his object of affection, to a distant land, Switzerland maybe, to engage in duet. J

I have always questioned the logic behind love at first sight.  I mean, how could anyone be so sure about someone who they have seen just few moments ago?

Since I have not bought into this logic, it was even more difficult for me to understand what it meant or how it felt to be spellbound. So, I associated these emotions with fantasy & continued with my life until THE DAY came.

THE DAY was 22nd October 2013, at around 8 AM; I was looking at something very small, barely 3 Kgs, my Son. I really understood the meaning of being spellbound and I became a believer.

I along with many others was waiting outside operation theatre to get the first glimpse of my son.

Doctor walked out carrying a small bundle in blue and she presented the baby to us, like Rafiki presented Simba to pride lands in "Lion King" movie. :)

After explaining the initial details of the birth (time, weight, etc...), she posed a very important question.

"Who is going to take the baby from my hands?"

Without a moment’s pause, I swiftly took my son in my arms and walked towards the hospital ward room, talking to him all along. I didn't realize I was leading a procession of my in-laws. :)

I kept staring at him and talking to him about subjects that I did not recall 10 minutes later. Such was his impact on me.

I always knew what love is. But only on that day, I realized I could love someone so much without any expectation. My heart welled up with love for him.

My wife & I were waiting for this blessing for close to 5 years. We had to endure false expectations, terrible disappointments and an inconsolable loss to have this blessing. Every time I look at him now, I realize that he is worth the wait, many times over.

I sincerely believe that every child is an angel sent by god as a gift to us, humans.

We call him Jeffrey Michael Miranda, after Archangel Michael !!! J

My affair with Accidents- Part 2

I had meant to follow the first episode with a sequel. But my interest in writing waned a bit. On my friend's request, here I am , back with the continuation of my affairs.
 
I bought my first car , Maruthi Swift,  back in 2006 I reckon. Owning a car was absolute pleasure. At the back of my mind, I had nurtured a logical thought that 4 wheeler offers more balance than bikes. Though I had obtained license to drive, I was not confident enough. My lack of confidence combined with the heavy history of accidents, resulted in new entries in my red ledger.

In the first couple of months, I had to re-paint all 4 doors of my car.  Parking space was tight in Chennai house, where i had to be precise and I misjudged. But I don't know how I managed to get entangled with the gate at my home in Pondy.  The gate was wide open and there was enough space to park a bus.

My driving skills began to improve with time , but i didn't let go my rashness.
It was a Saturday. I woke up at 6 AM in Chennai and suddenly decided to have my breakfast with my parents in Pondicherry. Took 10 minutes to get ready. I didn't bother to wake anyone up while leaving.

Drive from Chennai to Pondy through ECR (East Coast Road) is very scenic but a bit dangerous. The road curves a lot and there is no divider to separate traffic from the other side.

Road was empty, so I was pushing at a very high speed. While I was at the half-way mark, I had almost hit a guy crossing the road at a 4 way junction. I went hard on the brakes, leaving thick tyre marks on road with smell of rubber filling my nostrils. The guy was shouting at me, waving his fists. As the windows were rolled up, I didn't hear much. But I knew he was reeling out expletives. I didn't want to get involved in war of words with him. It could delay my breakfast.

Looking at him with blank expression, i shifted gears and revved past him. Just after few minutes, it was déjà vu moment with a slight change. This time it was a goat that attempted to cross the road. I started shouting expletives at the goat and it had the blank expression on its face. I was too occupied to realize the role reversal that transpired in matter of minutes, thus restoring the balance in universe.

These two signs should have been enough for anyone with half a brain. Looks like I didn't have one at all. I was driving through a narrow bridge at 90 kmph. There is a sharp blind turn at the end of the bridge. When I almost reached the end of the bridge, I realized that a bus was overtaking a car in that turn from the opposite side. This meant that the bus was on my side of the road.

If I had been driving at a manageable speed, I could have pulled my car off the road to a stop. At that speed, I had nowhere to go..

Maybe a better driver would have reacted differently. But i allowed my survival instinct to take over. I almost did a full turn of the steering wheel and the stepped on the brakes, at the same time. The car slid to the side , uprooting one of the stone slabs planted at the road sides. The impact was enough to flip the car over and it rolled down the road.

It would have hardly rolled 4 times in a matter of seconds before it stopped. For me , it was the longest moment. Everything inside my car was air-borne. I felt like a rag doll in a crazy kid's hands. That is the only moment of nothingness i remember till date.

When I came to my senses, the car had stopped with the driver side on top and I was hanging there. I unbuckled my seat belt and tried to open the door and window on my side. Both were jammed.  I started feeling claustrophobic , so I even attempted to break the window with my hands. It didn't pan out that well. So I tried the window behind the driver's seat.  The stone slab that the car had hit, had shattered the glass cleanly. I pulled myself out through that opening.

The engine was still running and there was smoke. I was afraid that it might burst into flames. Effect of watching lot of Hollywood movies, you know.  :)

I went back in, the way I had come out to remove the key from the ignition. While I was in, I remembered to pick up my camera and mobile. I made couple of calls. First one was to the number listed in the toll ticket and gave them the exact location of the accident. Then I called my dad to inform that I was okay but the car was not that lucky.

Ambulance came in 20 minutes..I didn't even a scratch on me. So , they spent the first aid time to explain what I should do after an accident. I got the number to towing service from them and arranged for the car to be towed to the nearby police station. I called my dad again and asked him to come with Car documents. The tow truck and my dad had to come from Pondy, a good 60 KMs from the accident spot. So , I had nothing to do but wait..

I took pictures of my car from various angles and perspective. I was narrating the story several times to the locals who gathered. Some of them offered me country liquor and I politely declined.  I quickly got tired of repeating the story. So I walked up the road and sat on one of the stone slabs. Occasionally, a car or share-auto would stop, asking me about the people who were injured in the accident. Got to know from them that the turn was famous accident spot and people involved would loose at least an arm or a leg.

My dad , my brother and his friend reached the spot and we all waited for tow truck that came at noon. We towed the car to the nearest police station at Cheyyur and waited till 5 PM to file an FIR for insurance claim. Sub-Inspector in that station was too busy settling a local dispute of some sort.. He asked me to come on another day to file FIR. Maybe , he needed quality time to coax me into paying bribe for filing FIR.

I reached home at 6:30 pm.. I started at 6 in the morning to have breakfast with my parents. But I had my dinner with them instead and I am not complaining at all.

At the time of accident, the car was 7 months and 1700 kms old.
I had to dispose the car for good and till the claim was settled, i paid EMIs for the loan I had taken on for the non-existent car.

It took another 8 years for me to drive again and own another car.

Vibhor

I reached my office in Australia & I was swept by the Tea Sapti wave on the very first day.

I am quite comfortable in an alien environment & I can get along with people pretty fast.  But I didn't want to impose myself on the first day. So I was being the silent observer [ not for long ;) ] weighing up everyone in the team, during our tea break.

That is when I noticed a tall guy with an imposing demeanour being brash in his conversation with the guys & they were enjoying his diatribe. Strangely, I started liking it too.

I don't know how long it took for me to feel very comfortable in his presence. All I know is that it was the shortest period in my experience.

Our friendship progressed from strength to strength & my admiration for him grew exponentially. Most of my best memories in Australia would involve him.

I realised his real charm when he left us to join another company. Marsden tribe that was so active and boisterous had suddenly become silent for most parts. Smiles on the team's face were less frequent. People became endlessly busy in work or busy pretending to be busy. :)

Let me be the first to admit that he was the team's lynchpin. People, when around him, seem to have more fun than otherwise. He has mastered the craft of raising us to excited state of energy. I observed that many in the team looked up to him for more than technical inputs.

God has blessed him with charisma and he is making the most of it. :)

Office setting was just a rehearsal studio for his theatrics. If you want to see him at his best, you will have to witness the spectacle he creates in the grand stage, the cricket field. :)

I love him more for his on field persona than his explosive & destuctive batting.

His statements are equivocal. He is equally vocal in praising or criticizing someone.

He is very creative & articulate. His abundant creative energy usually gets channelised in coining nick names. He is a pioneer in that field.  I always end up laughing my guts out when i hear those legendary names.

If he reads this post, he would be extremely dissapointed because his name has appeared only once in the title of this post. And "Ctrl+F" on his name, would have returned blank so far.

So , as a last ditch attempt to make him happy....

Vibhor, Vibhor, Vibhor, Vibhor, Vibhor, Vibhor, Vibhor, Vibhor, Vibhor, Vibhor , Vibhor

Managers - Useless Relics

I really pity any fresh engineer who joins an Indian IT organization and happens to reports to the most common breed of managers, THE UNINSPIRING ONES.

I pity them because these fresh engineers learn the work way of life observing their manager. For most of the engineers, it leaves a lasting imprint on them. They will start affecting those they will lead in future as well.

If we don't break this chain, we will end up with more uninspiring managers, generation after generation.
I think it might be too late already as we get to see the clear signs of that in our industry.

Attrition is at an all time high and is totally out of control. People keep changing jobs. You see more traffic between the organizations of same level than JFK airport. :)
It looks like only a recession can curb this trend.

Organizations are finding more and more difficult to place the right people for the right job. To top it off, the right people who are already in the right job don't want to continue any more..

Customers of these IT companies don't find any value other than cost benefits. Frustrated with the so called CMMi service of the companies , they start their own development centres. Increasing presence of MNCs in Bangalore's Electronic City & on both sides of IT Highway in Chennai are the testaments to this fact.

What will happen if this trend continues?

Indian IT companies will be reduced to the level of sub contractors who gets to do all low intellect jobs or survive being worker unions..

It is not difficult to figure out how we got here in the first place. All credit should go to our managers, the uninspiring ones.

The uninspiring ones treat every team member, just as a resource and the loss of a team member for them is more to do with loss of billing than anything else. "Giving stick" is a very common phrase in their vocabulary.

The T-rex of this uninspiring breed are the ones who sincerely uphold the notions of profitability that are so very prehistoric.

It was a rude awakening for me when I had to work with such dinosaurs who treat customers & high billing activities as "Cash cows" and for whom "customer value add" means anything that increases the project's profitability.

When you loose the focus on service and look for money in everything, you tend to become defensive, better ideas take back seat and so does the team's attitude towards work.
Value creation becomes a far cry in such teams.

Organization should device ways to identify these uninspiring ones and take away people responsibility from them. They must put these dinosaurs out to pasture.

In their place, we need empathetic leaders who foster the individuality of members and harness the collective energy of the team towards the singularity of project purpose.

In teams, dissent should be regarded in the same breadth as consensus.

After reading this post, if you think I am dreaming, so be it. Such dreams provide welcome escape to me.

It keeps me sane.