கவிதை கொத்து

#1:

பனித்துளியின் ஈரம் நீ,

அதை விரட்டும் விடியலின் வெப்பமும் நீயே.. 

இப்படி முரணாக நிற்கும் உன்னை,

முழுதாக நேசிக்க ஆசை...

#2:

உனக்கு கவிதை பிடிக்கும் என அறிவேன்.

கவிதைக்கும் உன்னை பிடித்திருக்கிறது போலும். 

என் கற்பனை கதவை உடைக்கிறாள் ... உன்னை சந்திப்பதற்காக !

#3: உன் ஞாபகங்கள்

என் இதய துடிப்புகள் நடுவில் வசிக்கும் ... உன் ஞாபகங்கள். 

இரவில் தூக்கம் என்னை தழுவும் தருணத்தில்....உன் ஞாபகங்கள்.

எனக்கு பிடித்த பாடல்களை முணுமுணுக்கும் பொழுது ... உன் ஞாபகங்கள்.

 மழைக்கு முன் வீசும் மண் வாசனை போல், என் மனதை வருடும் .... உன் ஞாபகங்கள்.

இப்படி உன் ஞாபகங்களை மட்டுமே சுவாசிக்கும் என்னை பார்த்து... உன்னை மறுத்துவிட்டேன் என்றாயே!! 

எப்படி ????

#4: 

நீ எழுத சொன்னதால் நான் கவிஞன் ஆவேனோ ? 

நீ என்னை ரசிப்பதால் நன் கலைஞன் ஆவேனோ ? 

என் ஆண்மையை நீ மதிப்பதால் நான் வீரன் ஆவேனோ ?

உன் மீது கொண்ட ஆசையால் நான் மிருகம் ஆவேனோ ? 

என் மீது கொண்ட உன் பாசத்தால் நான் குழந்தை ஆவேனோ ? 

உன் சிந்தனையில் வாழ்வதால் நான் பித்தன் ஆவேனோ ?

குழந்தை கையில் சிக்கிய களிமண் போல... 

நான் என்ன ஆவேனோ ? 

நீயே சொல்.. 

பெண்ணே !

Crisis Management : My perspective

Today, in software industry, we hear surreal stories about heroes saving projects from failure, with their single-mindedness and with very little regard to their personal lives.

Such stories are really motivating for others and in general used as benchmark for great performances. Everyone around those projects would want to bask in this glory by happily inflating their part in this success.

In that collective euphoria, we don't introspect to see why we ended up facing the crisis in the first place. Somehow, the act of introspection of such a project is considered disrespectful to those who pulled off such a stupendous feat.

For as long as i can remember, I have held similar opinion.
But, I don't believe that to be true anymore and these hero stories really merit closer scrutiny.

These exalted heroes could have been the architect of the very crisis they rescued the projects from; through their part in poor planning and shoddy execution.

Don't get me wrong. I don't intend to be sarcastic or belittle superhuman effort that went to recover the project. I am merely lamenting the absence of an honest reflection with an intent of never getting into another crisis.

The habit of successfully getting out of one crisis after another and the adulation that follows the crisis recovery threatens to get ingrained into organizational psyche. Longer we feed this monster, faster it would drain the organization's resources & resolve.

For a while , I have wondered why well executed projects are not celebrated in an organization.
On the contrary, if a project is completed on time without issues, it is popular belief that the project must certainly not have been complex enough.

We owe this attitude to a common psychological bias, where we are tuned towards negativity mainly because a bad event is sudden and impactful.
A good event/behavior is incremental, built over time and more preventive in nature ("prevents bad event from occurring").

This means projects in crisis markets itself,  while project executed on-plan should be consciously marketed to bring it to the management's attention.

Let me drive this point further with a simple analogy.

There were three brilliant physicians. The first one was a surgeon who saved lives of people in critical conditions through invasive methods. People thronged his hospital, everyone in the country knew him and he was wealthy.

The second physician looked at the early symptoms and prescribes medicines that would cure their ailments. He was also well known and respected, but only in his village.

Third physician would advise on practices to follow in order to lead a life of absolute health. Neither anyone listens to him nor respects him.

In today's world, there is strong and increasing need for "Third physician".

It is no longer enough to execute a project well but we should also aggressively promote it.

It is our responsibility to show that disciplined execution of projects will be rewarded by the organization.

To show that one can be successful in both work and life and not necessarily have to choose one over the other.

Tuesday morning conversation with my son

                                       

Jeffrey and I have started engaging in conversations that I find very rewarding.
He asks questions and I try to answer them to the best of my ability and that is the equation in our conversations.

I have come to the realization that it is lot easier to face questions from an adult.
My 5 year old has fundamental questions  that I have taken for granted. Maybe I had the same questions when I was a kid.

When did we stop being curious? Curious about everything ! Anything ???

Sometimes i think humans regress as a race when we grow up. We are better off as kids.

The pace at which the kids learn new topics is mind-blowing.

Jeffrey has immersed himself into the world of super-heroes and my youngest brother is his mentor on the subject. It is a sight to behold to see both of them talk on that subject.

His sense of morality is distilled from the world of super-heroes & not our religious text.
I personally find the virtues of super-heroes more relatable than those i find in book of faith.

But to give him broader perspective, my wife bought him a book on bible stories. He liked those stories too.

Now I am wondering & waiting how he will process these two distinct worlds to make his own assertions.  He has started to do that already.

I am registering one such conversation i had with my son this morning, for posterity.😊

Normally, I spend time with him just before he goes to sleep. Nothing fancy, just boys stuff. 😊
Last night when i came back from office , Jeffrey was already asleep. I missed that precious time with my son.

When I woke up today and saw him, he was wide-eyed, ready & waiting to strike a conversation.
Without any small talk, he went straight in.

Jeffrey : "Ultron, can you fly underwater?"
Me      : "Yes, I can . I will rule the oceans"
Jeffrey : "Aquaman is the king of Ocean"
Jeffrey : "Ultron, why are you bad?"
Jeffrey : "Why don't you save grid ? He is trapped by Cyborg"

For the uninitiated, Ultron is the Super villain robot in Avengers [ Marvel Cinematic universe ] .
Grid is a similar super villain robot in DC universe where Cyborg is one of DC's super heroes.
And we do role plays by imitating super heroes & villains.

Lets stop here and continue with the conversation.

With my best imitation of Ultron's voice.. 

Me       : "Yes , I have plans to save Grid and together we will destroy humans."
Jeffrey : "Why do you want to destroy humans?"
Me       : "Because humans are bad. They destroy trees and use plastic."
Jeffrey : "God created humans. Everything god created is beautiful."
Me       : "Okay. Then I will rule all people on earth"
Jeffrey : "Jesus is the king of earth."
Me       : "Then, what should i do?"
Jeffrey : "Collect some money. Go and work in the fields"
Me       : "I am the most sophisticated machine that man has ever built and I am a super villian!.  You expect me to work in the fields?"
Jeffrey : "Yes" ( definitive answer)

When i thought we reached  logical end to our short conversation , after a long pause, he asked the toughest question of all.

Jeffrey : "When was god born?"

It didn't seem that tough to me..I got this ! I started right away..

Me       : "Jesus was born approximately 2000 years ago. We don't know the exact year or date though".

He gave me a weird look..

Jeffrey : "I said 'GOD' not 'JESUS'".

Now, it was my time to take a long pause. 

Me       : "GOD has always existed from the beginning of times"

By the look of him , I realized he was not impressed with my answer. Even i wasn't buying it. So....

Me       : "I don't know when God was born. We will find it out together."

I could see he was satisfied with this answer and like that, Jeffrey & I started this journey to find answers.

I don't really know if we will find answers but I am enjoying travelling this road with my son. 😊

The day I was smitten

I have read in literature about love at first sight, how a guy gets transfixed by a complete stranger when he lays his eyes on her. For those who follow Indian Cinema, I don't have to explain what happens next. A copy of him teleports along with his object of affection, to a distant land, Switzerland maybe, to engage in duet. J

I have always questioned the logic behind love at first sight.  I mean, how could anyone be so sure about someone who they have seen just few moments ago?

Since I have not bought into this logic, it was even more difficult for me to understand what it meant or how it felt to be spellbound. So, I associated these emotions with fantasy & continued with my life until THE DAY came.

THE DAY was 22nd October 2013, at around 8 AM; I was looking at something very small, barely 3 Kgs, my Son. I really understood the meaning of being spellbound and I became a believer.

I along with many others was waiting outside operation theatre to get the first glimpse of my son.

Doctor walked out carrying a small bundle in blue and she presented the baby to us, like Rafiki presented Simba to pride lands in "Lion King" movie. :)

After explaining the initial details of the birth (time, weight, etc...), she posed a very important question.

"Who is going to take the baby from my hands?"

Without a moment’s pause, I swiftly took my son in my arms and walked towards the hospital ward room, talking to him all along. I didn't realize I was leading a procession of my in-laws. :)

I kept staring at him and talking to him about subjects that I did not recall 10 minutes later. Such was his impact on me.

I always knew what love is. But only on that day, I realized I could love someone so much without any expectation. My heart welled up with love for him.

My wife & I were waiting for this blessing for close to 5 years. We had to endure false expectations, terrible disappointments and an inconsolable loss to have this blessing. Every time I look at him now, I realize that he is worth the wait, many times over.

I sincerely believe that every child is an angel sent by god as a gift to us, humans.

We call him Jeffrey Michael Miranda, after Archangel Michael !!! J

My affair with Accidents- Part 2

I had meant to follow the first episode with a sequel. But my interest in writing waned a bit. On my friend's request, here I am , back with the continuation of my affairs.
 
I bought my first car , Maruthi Swift,  back in 2006 I reckon. Owning a car was absolute pleasure. At the back of my mind, I had nurtured a logical thought that 4 wheeler offers more balance than bikes. Though I had obtained license to drive, I was not confident enough. My lack of confidence combined with the heavy history of accidents, resulted in new entries in my red ledger.

In the first couple of months, I had to re-paint all 4 doors of my car.  Parking space was tight in Chennai house, where i had to be precise and I misjudged. But I don't know how I managed to get entangled with the gate at my home in Pondy.  The gate was wide open and there was enough space to park a bus.

My driving skills began to improve with time , but i didn't let go my rashness.
It was a Saturday. I woke up at 6 AM in Chennai and suddenly decided to have my breakfast with my parents in Pondicherry. Took 10 minutes to get ready. I didn't bother to wake anyone up while leaving.

Drive from Chennai to Pondy through ECR (East Coast Road) is very scenic but a bit dangerous. The road curves a lot and there is no divider to separate traffic from the other side.

Road was empty, so I was pushing at a very high speed. While I was at the half-way mark, I had almost hit a guy crossing the road at a 4 way junction. I went hard on the brakes, leaving thick tyre marks on road with smell of rubber filling my nostrils. The guy was shouting at me, waving his fists. As the windows were rolled up, I didn't hear much. But I knew he was reeling out expletives. I didn't want to get involved in war of words with him. It could delay my breakfast.

Looking at him with blank expression, i shifted gears and revved past him. Just after few minutes, it was déjà vu moment with a slight change. This time it was a goat that attempted to cross the road. I started shouting expletives at the goat and it had the blank expression on its face. I was too occupied to realize the role reversal that transpired in matter of minutes, thus restoring the balance in universe.

These two signs should have been enough for anyone with half a brain. Looks like I didn't have one at all. I was driving through a narrow bridge at 90 kmph. There is a sharp blind turn at the end of the bridge. When I almost reached the end of the bridge, I realized that a bus was overtaking a car in that turn from the opposite side. This meant that the bus was on my side of the road.

If I had been driving at a manageable speed, I could have pulled my car off the road to a stop. At that speed, I had nowhere to go..

Maybe a better driver would have reacted differently. But i allowed my survival instinct to take over. I almost did a full turn of the steering wheel and the stepped on the brakes, at the same time. The car slid to the side , uprooting one of the stone slabs planted at the road sides. The impact was enough to flip the car over and it rolled down the road.

It would have hardly rolled 4 times in a matter of seconds before it stopped. For me , it was the longest moment. Everything inside my car was air-borne. I felt like a rag doll in a crazy kid's hands. That is the only moment of nothingness i remember till date.

When I came to my senses, the car had stopped with the driver side on top and I was hanging there. I unbuckled my seat belt and tried to open the door and window on my side. Both were jammed.  I started feeling claustrophobic , so I even attempted to break the window with my hands. It didn't pan out that well. So I tried the window behind the driver's seat.  The stone slab that the car had hit, had shattered the glass cleanly. I pulled myself out through that opening.

The engine was still running and there was smoke. I was afraid that it might burst into flames. Effect of watching lot of Hollywood movies, you know.  :)

I went back in, the way I had come out to remove the key from the ignition. While I was in, I remembered to pick up my camera and mobile. I made couple of calls. First one was to the number listed in the toll ticket and gave them the exact location of the accident. Then I called my dad to inform that I was okay but the car was not that lucky.

Ambulance came in 20 minutes..I didn't even a scratch on me. So , they spent the first aid time to explain what I should do after an accident. I got the number to towing service from them and arranged for the car to be towed to the nearby police station. I called my dad again and asked him to come with Car documents. The tow truck and my dad had to come from Pondy, a good 60 KMs from the accident spot. So , I had nothing to do but wait..

I took pictures of my car from various angles and perspective. I was narrating the story several times to the locals who gathered. Some of them offered me country liquor and I politely declined.  I quickly got tired of repeating the story. So I walked up the road and sat on one of the stone slabs. Occasionally, a car or share-auto would stop, asking me about the people who were injured in the accident. Got to know from them that the turn was famous accident spot and people involved would loose at least an arm or a leg.

My dad , my brother and his friend reached the spot and we all waited for tow truck that came at noon. We towed the car to the nearest police station at Cheyyur and waited till 5 PM to file an FIR for insurance claim. Sub-Inspector in that station was too busy settling a local dispute of some sort.. He asked me to come on another day to file FIR. Maybe , he needed quality time to coax me into paying bribe for filing FIR.

I reached home at 6:30 pm.. I started at 6 in the morning to have breakfast with my parents. But I had my dinner with them instead and I am not complaining at all.

At the time of accident, the car was 7 months and 1700 kms old.
I had to dispose the car for good and till the claim was settled, i paid EMIs for the loan I had taken on for the non-existent car.

It took another 8 years for me to drive again and own another car.

Vibhor

I reached my office in Australia & I was swept by the Tea Sapti wave on the very first day.

I am quite comfortable in an alien environment & I can get along with people pretty fast.  But I didn't want to impose myself on the first day. So I was being the silent observer [ not for long ;) ] weighing up everyone in the team, during our tea break.

That is when I noticed a tall guy with an imposing demeanour being brash in his conversation with the guys & they were enjoying his diatribe. Strangely, I started liking it too.

I don't know how long it took for me to feel very comfortable in his presence. All I know is that it was the shortest period in my experience.

Our friendship progressed from strength to strength & my admiration for him grew exponentially. Most of my best memories in Australia would involve him.

I realised his real charm when he left us to join another company. Marsden tribe that was so active and boisterous had suddenly become silent for most parts. Smiles on the team's face were less frequent. People became endlessly busy in work or busy pretending to be busy. :)

Let me be the first to admit that he was the team's lynchpin. People, when around him, seem to have more fun than otherwise. He has mastered the craft of raising us to excited state of energy. I observed that many in the team looked up to him for more than technical inputs.

God has blessed him with charisma and he is making the most of it. :)

Office setting was just a rehearsal studio for his theatrics. If you want to see him at his best, you will have to witness the spectacle he creates in the grand stage, the cricket field. :)

I love him more for his on field persona than his explosive & destuctive batting.

His statements are equivocal. He is equally vocal in praising or criticizing someone.

He is very creative & articulate. His abundant creative energy usually gets channelised in coining nick names. He is a pioneer in that field.  I always end up laughing my guts out when i hear those legendary names.

If he reads this post, he would be extremely dissapointed because his name has appeared only once in the title of this post. And "Ctrl+F" on his name, would have returned blank so far.

So , as a last ditch attempt to make him happy....

Vibhor, Vibhor, Vibhor, Vibhor, Vibhor, Vibhor, Vibhor, Vibhor, Vibhor, Vibhor , Vibhor

Managers - Useless Relics

I really pity any fresh engineer who joins an Indian IT organization and happens to reports to the most common breed of managers, THE UNINSPIRING ONES.

I pity them because these fresh engineers learn the work way of life observing their manager. For most of the engineers, it leaves a lasting imprint on them. They will start affecting those they will lead in future as well.

If we don't break this chain, we will end up with more uninspiring managers, generation after generation.
I think it might be too late already as we get to see the clear signs of that in our industry.

Attrition is at an all time high and is totally out of control. People keep changing jobs. You see more traffic between the organizations of same level than JFK airport. :)
It looks like only a recession can curb this trend.

Organizations are finding more and more difficult to place the right people for the right job. To top it off, the right people who are already in the right job don't want to continue any more..

Customers of these IT companies don't find any value other than cost benefits. Frustrated with the so called CMMi service of the companies , they start their own development centres. Increasing presence of MNCs in Bangalore's Electronic City & on both sides of IT Highway in Chennai are the testaments to this fact.

What will happen if this trend continues?

Indian IT companies will be reduced to the level of sub contractors who gets to do all low intellect jobs or survive being worker unions..

It is not difficult to figure out how we got here in the first place. All credit should go to our managers, the uninspiring ones.

The uninspiring ones treat every team member, just as a resource and the loss of a team member for them is more to do with loss of billing than anything else. "Giving stick" is a very common phrase in their vocabulary.

The T-rex of this uninspiring breed are the ones who sincerely uphold the notions of profitability that are so very prehistoric.

It was a rude awakening for me when I had to work with such dinosaurs who treat customers & high billing activities as "Cash cows" and for whom "customer value add" means anything that increases the project's profitability.

When you loose the focus on service and look for money in everything, you tend to become defensive, better ideas take back seat and so does the team's attitude towards work.
Value creation becomes a far cry in such teams.

Organization should device ways to identify these uninspiring ones and take away people responsibility from them. They must put these dinosaurs out to pasture.

In their place, we need empathetic leaders who foster the individuality of members and harness the collective energy of the team towards the singularity of project purpose.

In teams, dissent should be regarded in the same breadth as consensus.

After reading this post, if you think I am dreaming, so be it. Such dreams provide welcome escape to me.

It keeps me sane.

Hybrid Ideology : Religion with Objectivism

I am a man of faith. I believe the hand of god in all events that come to pass.
I am also inspired and influenced by Objectivism, a philosophical idea from Ayn Rand.

Objectivism, as an idea, enshrines man's ability to produce, to create and it eulogises mankind's greatness.
According to her, collective ideas, compromises and organised religion are the arch-enemies. Why?
Because their principles  like "Sacrificing an individual for common good", "group consensus on an idea" , "humility" are hurdles for man's greatness.

If I had asked Ayn Rand to choose "Darth Vader of Objective Universe", she would have replied "Religion", without missing a beat.

Having said this, I re-iterate that I love both religion and Objectivism. In fact, I believe that these idea complement each other.

For some it might be difficult to accept my stand. But the same person would have shown high level of maturity on a different debatable topic, "Darwin's Theory vs Genesis on evolution".

Even though we don't have irrefutable proof that universe was created in one big cosmic explosion, we are pretty much confident that the universe was not created in 6 days. :)
We still are mostly religious. But, how did the majority come to this level of acceptance?

The newer generations are taught about Darwin's evolution along with Genesis from their childhood.
Even without theological or scientific explanation, they are able to digest the essence.Why?
Because as kids we don't resist new ideas, we are information sponges at subconscious level.

Only when we attain the so called maturity (so very overrated !) , we become like a dried clay pot, resisting further moulding.

So, for someone with an open mind for new ideas will understand that both objectivism and religion can be embraced without conflict. He can even find interpretation in one, supporting the other.

Only message I get from Genesis is that the whole world was created for mankind and man is god's best creation.
If we don't get into the argument of who created us, Isn't this the core message of Objectivism?

We have to take these two ideologies and form something infinetely better, sort of a hybrid.
This should help us focus on achieving personal goals through strong conviction and introspection.
When events spiral out of one's control, keeping faith on higher power can only help us shore up our resolve to handle the eventualities.

We are living in a world of hybrids now.
A hybrid Ideology can only be good for us and let us push for wider acceptance of it.

My affair with Accidents - Part 1

In my life so far, I have been involved in countless vehicle accidents. There were so many crashes that I lost track of the count. All I remember now are major ones, where I escaped with minor injuries.

I don't think I have had any luck at all when it comes to winning a lottery or even a raffle ticket.
When i think harder, I have been blessed with abundant luck where it matters, with my life.
People say cat has nine lives.I must be related to cats in my earlier birth. And, I have been living on my extra lives from a long time ago.

My mom tells me that even as a kid, I had a habit of tripping on my own legs. I was the last person to be entrusted with anything that can break or spill..and that too, only if no one else is there to do the chore...

My falls started to aggravate as I kept graduating from walking to cylcing, cycling to riding a moped, moped to bike and finally from riding a bike to driving a car.

According to me, a fall from bicycle is not serious at all. So I don't remember specific incidents..
Some might ask, "How can you generalize? What if the altercation had been with some heavy vehicle while riding a bicycle?"

Peculiar as it might sound, in most of my accidents, no one else will be involved. My bike or car will sustain damages  & I will carry injury..Other people normally get involved only to help me out.

This means I can't even blame anyone for my accidents. ( I know..It sucks !) Still i do my best to blame someone or something, usually it will be slippery roads (with a little embellishment along the way). :)

Once, I was riding to office in my brother's Pulsar ( yeah ! the one with disk brakes !) as my bike had some problem.

Normally , both front and back brakes in my bike are very weak. For braking, I apply both front and back brakes at the same time, to squeeze the max from them.

At this juncture, I also have to admit that I have a habit of going to auto-pilot mode from time to time while riding bike, which means i stop focusing on the road and my subconscious rides the bike. :)
Now don't be afraid to hitch a ride with me in future...I can assure you all, that this auto-pilot stuff happens only when I am riding alone.

On that eventful day, I came back from one such auto-pilot mode, I applied both the brakes forgetting that I was in Pulsar.
Laws of physics took over, I was thrown in air and was sliding on the road with my face making contact with road..
Good that i was wearing my helmet and visor was closed. In the end,  I was dragged long enough for the helmet to slip off from my head and I ended up kissing the road just for couple of seconds.
I returned home with twisted bike handle & busted lips, as a souvenir.
At home, when I saw myself on the mirror, I resembeled a desperate vampire who bit his own lips, out of thirst.

Another time, while taking a turn in a busy signal , I slipped from my bike. Just like that!
I quickly picked up my bike and my pride before the signal from the opposite side opened up. I went to office with torn pants..
This time i was in full senses and I didn't know how I could fall in a turn that i normally take every working day of the year.
I was trying to recollect if I was missing a bit. Then it struck me hard!
On that day, I had picked up my bike from service center before coming to office. That's it !

I normally fall within a month of servicing my bike or car. This is also another reality. Don't search for logic..Just deal with it, OK?

So, these two accounts are ample proof to my claim that my affair with accidents is not a complicated love triangle..
It is a love of traditional kind..Accident and I are the only parties involved.

I was lucky in both the cases to escape with a burst lip and torn pants, as they happened at peak office hours in busy highway.

I kept falling at every opportunity I got and I showed no signs of slowing down whatsoever...
I suspected that i was priming myself for bigger things...

Perfection - A Myth

We see more and more people joining the band wagon, trumpeting about perfection or the lack of it.
The real question is , why do we have imperfect systems? Is it deviation or norm ?

I believe that it's the latter. Let me build my case.

Imperfections have helped people to develope tolerance and tolerance is a VIRTUE.

Imperfections bring the element of uncertainity that makes life interesting..

Imperfections NEVER cripple us.
They just build up frustration towards the system that are easily relieved from time to time, through power cycling..


Power cycling/reset is the act of turning a piece of equipment/system and then turning it on again. Mostly, the reason for reset is to recover from an unresponsive state of its mission critical functionality.

In the past , reset was always used as the last step recover from a failure and there was a stigma attached to it. Thanks to Microsoft, people were generously encouraged to take this route.The convenience of power reset caught on the other platforms, devices, equipments.

Nowadays, anything run by software (which is pretty much everything) are subjected to reset. It has become the first step to recover from any crash. This has played into the hands of developers  & creators, for they keep building imperfect systems.

I started cursing Microsoft for standardising "reset culture" and destroying mankind's movement towards perfection (How Naive??).  Then I realized that even the most amazing creator had got the hang of it... :)

Every life created in this universe comes with the creator's gaurantee of vitality. But quite so often it ends up malfunctioning. In the event of non-recovery , the plug is pulled and the life is created again with a bright new set of hardware.

I should have seen the god's hand in imperfections.

Paradigm has shifted.

Now, I started reading "Imperfect" as "I'm Perfect" and I feel great about it!!
 
Embrace Imperfection and you will be at peace with the world and self.

Sacrifice = Love ???

A friend of mine questioned about the importance given to the act of sacrifice towards the manifestation of love.
Is Sacrifice a measure of love? Greater the sacrifice, deeper is the person's love?
His question is not baseless. He quoted many popular love stories in history , "Romeo and Juliet" , "Laila Majnu" have tragic endings.

Normally I ready myself to contradict his statements for the sake of argument. But for once, I was not able to quote a powerful love story that did not involve sacrifice.
Agreed that my knowledge is limited on this subject, but the very fact that I knew about many tragic love stories & not one with a happy ending was in fact troubling me.

Is it how our human brain is built, increasing the longevity of painful memories when compared to happy thoughts?
Is it because we have raised the bar for happiness?
We no longer recognize simple pleasures like reading a good book, enjoying a fine meal as happiness. We expect happiness to storm in and sweep us of our feet.

I still can't shake his question...What is it with Sacrifice & Love?

I can understand "Passion & Love" ,even "immaturity , inexperience and Love", but sacrifice & love looks like a paradox, but literature seems to glorify it.

This topic was a bit touchy to argue about as it was close to my friend's heart. :)
My friend is lucky in love and he is a happier person. It should be THAT simple. You fall in love because you are happier that way.

Some say that there is also enjoyable pain ( seriously??).
They say longing in love is painful, but they enjoy the pain as they know or they believe in its fullfilment.
In that case, I say pain is bearable not enjoyable. People seem to confuse emotions.

No one happily sacrifices, not even for love. It will result in pain.
For me , pain is unwanted and undesirable feeling. The mere mentioning of the word "pain" so many times in this passage will make some readers squirm.

If someone says he has sacrificed for his love and is happy, he is a liar of the worst kind. He lies to himself !!!

Love is to enjoy, not to endure. You don't enjoy sacrifice, you endure it.
Love is to live,  not to exist. You don't live in pain, you exist with it.

Sacrifice = Pain ≠ Love.

Hence proved.

Have I? :)

Lets go for Tea Saapti !

I was making some changes to my blog settings, Ratna Balaji walked across and saw that I was fiddling with a blog. He seemed interested and I obliged by showing my posts. Out of nowhere he suggested that i should blog about tea breaks in our team and walked away.

I dismissed his suggestion right away, but on second thoughts IT WAS something I always wanted to share.

The mere thought of our tea breaks brings fond memories. It might sound silly, but the feeling is justified.
If I have to look back at my stay in Australia, the memories of our tea breaks will always stay fresh.

This twice a day ritual is very important part of my work life. I dare not call it a ritual, at it is an event that is anything but dull. Our tea breaks is actually a ceremony, a celebration.

Vibhor, an eternally super charged soul, invites us for tea break with his trademark "Let's go for Tea Saapti".

I don't know why the mere invitation always brings joy to me as street-side ice cream vendor's bell would sound to a kid.

It is mostly boys club during tea break, where we discuss everything, including work.
It is a stage for us to discuss cricket, mostly about our saturday game. Whether we revel in our victories or sulk in our defeats, the comments that fly across are more eccentric that Sidhu, more cynical than Geoff Boycott and more clinical than Harsha Bogle.

Tea break is the ingenious way we devised to bring weekend into the scheme of weekdays. It ensures that a part of Saturday lives in us everyday till the next Saturday morning.

As far as topics other than cricket goes, I'll leave it up to your imagination. ;)

At the end of the break, I have always left smiling.  The much elusive happiness meets us in our break.
So,I wanted to coin "15 minutes of magic" as title of the post..

But, "Lets go for Tea Saapti " is more fitting..Don't you agree? :)

I am a spinner now !

My mates and I religiously play cricket on every Saturday. Nothing that nature could cook up has been able to dampen our spirits on Saturdays. I am from Christian faith and Saturday has truly become the day of Sabbath. :)

Initially, I found a place in our team as a medium pace bowler. Since then, I have improved my bowling a lot and have been moderately successful at it.

Now I am gradually into wicket keeping. I enjoy keeping the wickets as I am engaged throughout the innings. When chances present themselves, I have to pouch the catches.

So far the difficult catches that I had taken had been important ones. It feels good to be appreciated for the catches. As far as THOSE catches go, it all comes to instinct and being alert.

But I take a lot pride when I anticipate the ball's trajectory or the bowlers guile. I need to be spot on to avert additional runs leaking behind the wicket. A good stumping means more to me than the most ridiculous of catches.

Now that I understand what makes me really happy, I was searching for avenues of increasing my satisfaction level from the game I play. I stopped to look again at my bowling...With my limitations as a medium fast bowler & our playing conditions , I found that fast bowling disciple is very dull for me.

More often, I am reduced to containing role, bowling with tight line and length. That is when I was inspired by my coach who is the lead spinner.

Being a keeper, I am full of admiration for his bowling craft.. The way he lures the batsmen in playing wrong shots and deceives the batsmen with pace and flight , is so pleasing to watch.

When it comes to learning a trade, I am the most dedicated of students.. Ishwar, my coach, my friend,  is a good teacher as well. :)  Maybe I will post a blog sometime as a tribute to my coach.

I have to learn from scratch as a spinner. It will be fun and challenging. I will strive to better myself in the art of spin bowling.

Most importantly , I will be immensely satisfied with my effort as a bowler , irrespective of whether I am successful or not.

At the end of  the day, it is only thing that matters to me! :) 

My Cluttered Mind

MY thoughts are like monkey jumping from one branch to another. I am for once, don't want to rationalise them, edit them any order. I am penning down as I feel. It is a good experience to do so... Hope order emerge out of Chaotic thoughts. Hope is a strong word..Infact, it is a Virtue that I strive to possess.

What is life ?

What keeps two people in a relationship?
I have been brooding on this question for quite some time now. The answer still eludes me.
If it is the basic need to be cared and loved for, then when does it get manifested?
If the sharing & caring happens during good times, do we regard the gesture with value?
If the support is provided during the hardship, do we even recognise such an act among other issues that we perceive to have?

When i seek an answer to a question, all i do is end up with dozen more.

Won't it be nice that options in life present themselves as objective types questions with decisive options to choose from?

I have always heard people grumble how complicated their lives are  or how complicated the choices are.. Will I even meet someone who says that life is so simple and uncomplicated?


Couple of days back , I was brought to standstill by the magnitude of issues before me. Now, everything looks manageable. I would go to the extend of saying that I believe I can handle them on piece meal basis. The issues are still the same as it was couple of days back. Something changed in me that helped me look at things differently.

I have always been a daydreamer, solving issues in minutes in my dreams , where my will is absolute. When will I ever lead my dreams to  the path of reality?

While I am surrounded by problems , I am also surrounded by good hearted people who support me. The degree of support vaires from person to person, but supoort noentheless and I am very grateful for that.

Socialist State of America.

Almost 18 months earlier from today, I was heavily influenced by the vision of a young democrat who seemed to have started a movement in a land, far-away. A movement against status-quo, a movement for change.
Barack Obama was looked at as common man's voice. His journey in life symbolised the sense of optimism & oppotunity , which are very much the integral part of "The American Dream". The younger generation rallied behind him. At that time, the prevailing resentment on previous administration fuelled this movement and he was rising the political ladder rapidly.
Even I was touched by the sense of optimism surrounding his presidential campaign. I celebrated his victory like mine.
In a few days from now, we will be witnessing the first anniversary of Obama's rule. Refelecting on his legacy as president, I found him wanting.
His key achievements are:
1. Sending additional troops on a large scale to fight a war on terror in Afghanistan.
2. Inability to present a pragmatic plan to pull out of Iraq.
3. Inability to close Guantanamo Bay Camp on the promised time frame.
4. Trying to pass resloution on a compromised Healthcare bill that has lost its soul.
5. Increasing state control on businesses under the pretext of stimulus package.
We can attribute part of his failure, to the magnitude of the issues faced during his administration. As if the two costly wars in Iraq & Afghanistan weren't enough, he had to bear the brunt of recession. These are tough problems. Tough problems require people with strong will and tenacity to ask tough questions and act tough.
With all honesty, no one expected the US presidency to be walk in the park either.

All his major decisions can be atrributed to his lack of support from the political system. The US political elite are a bunch of opportunistic scavengers who feast on another's handicap. We cannot expect anything better than this.

So, I am generously willing to pardon all his decisions except the one to indirectly increase state control on businesses.

America is not a country. Infact it is a symbol, one that represents equality and fairness in trade. It is the promised land for free and unregulated market.
Unbridled commerce based on sound priciples is the very fabric of America.

Commerce was the underlying reason for all the famous and infamous wars that were fought in our history. If someone is trying to restraint commerce itself, by prirotising the needs of people over business profitability, then it is not a blunder. It is cardinal sin.

Banks and industries were helped using Tax payers money to revive the economy. The benefits of this monetary assistance are passed on the tax payers indirectly by the improving climate for job opportunities.

The persisting Big-Brother attitude of US government towards industries gives us the sour taste of a socialist regime. It sure looks like we have passed the peak of American glory and dominance in Commerce.

Lost in Haste

I have been associated with a reputed software firm for over 9 years. I have seen it grow 10 folds ( in Man power ).
When a company grows to that size, the only way it can function is through well established quality processes. We seem to have tamed that beast.

With the sudden expansion in business in the last few years, which frankly most did not anticipate, we started moving towards generating more revenue by filling in. Most companies never had the time to reflect on the capability or suitability of their work force.
I would term this act as the exploitation of the business oppurtunity. This is truely the curse of the service industry. When such exploitation continued for long term, it sowed the seeds of discontentment, the sense of not getting enough value out of the deal.

It is only natural that India is no longer considered as low-cost-high-skilled centre for business. More than the increasing cost factor, the "skill" part took the biggest hit. All thanks to the passive encouragement of "shallow knowedge". We no longer seem to have people with vertical ( core ) expertise. "Breadth" is appreciated more than "depth".

Imagine companies operating with excellent processes without necessary skillset. A hopeless combination , I dare to say. It is like a soul without body, never having the vital faculty to bring about a visible change.

Though companies sensed the impending doom, they never got a breather to introspect, always busy in meeting numbers/targets. Recent recession provided the much needed break. It shook most companies awake from their deep slumber.

As I see it, we don't have too many choices ahead. Everything has been made quite simple now. Either we break this inertia of ineptness to move upwards or slowly roll down towards the valley of oblivion.

It doesn't serve well to be overtly pessimistic. All is not lost. But its definitely time for action !
All these juggernauts should wash away the cling-ons. They should go back to their core strengths, skill and process. Like phoenix, we have to rise from ashes. India should once again be regarded as the land of the knowledge workers.

It is always pleasant to look forward to such a future.

My First Post

People..

This is my first attempt to share my thoughts & feeling
s with the world.
For a person like me, who opens up rarely to the most trusted friends, took a lot of courage to take this step.

I too have lot views to share with the world, most of which are not acceptable to the social majorities.

For so long I have been living in your world. Now, its time to share my world with you.